For weeks, I’ve been talking about the actions we can take for the elections. I’ve been reassuring myself with promising polls. I’ve let myself get busy at work and at home.
I wonder how much of that is just a desperate attempt to avoid the obvious: In a week or so, I might once again wake up to a heartbreaking disappointment. To be honest, I have basically done nothing to prepare myself for this very real possibility.
Sitting here now, I am allowing myself to really let that possibility in for the first time. I close my eyes, breathe deeply, and imagine that possible world eight days from now – what it would feel like, who I would be in it, how I would need to show up, what weight I would need to hold…
The grief and disappointment are overwhelming, beyond words. My mind can’t even really comprehend it.
It is devastating. And yet, somehow it’s also a relief. I can see more clearly what’s at stake and align my actions today accordingly. But more importantly, I can begin to ready myself for the worst in a way that I never did four years ago.
Have you really, REALLY, let in the possibility that this election might not go the way you want? Or, have you actually let in the possibility that it might? What possibility are you avoiding? Why?